Seeing the Whole Teen: Rethinking How We Support High School Students with ADHD

As an educational advocate, I work with many high schoolers who have ADHD. By the time they reach ninth grade, many of them are carrying the weight of years of correction, criticism, and misunderstanding. They’ve been told to “focus,” “calm down,” or “try harder” more times than anyone can count. But what often gets overlooked is how all of this affects their self-esteem.

In his article Don’t Let ADHD Crush Children’s Self-Esteem, Dr. Jellinek, Chief of Child Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor at Harvard Medical School explains that a child with ADHD may receive more than 20,000 negative or corrective comments by the age of 10. By high school, that number is much higher. Even when behavior improves or medication helps, the emotional damage can linger.

Many teens with ADHD also struggle with learning differences or social interaction, and by the time they reach adolescence, they’ve often stopped trying new things. Not because they don’t care, but because they’re tired of failing or feeling “less than.”

So how do we support them better?

We start by setting expectations they can realistically meet. Progress over perfection. High schoolers with ADHD will have strong days and rough ones, and that’s part of their learning curve.

We focus on their strengths. Instead of spending all our energy fixing what’s hard, we should be building on what they love - whether that’s coding, theater, design, or basketball. Success in these areas can restore their confidence and identity.

We reframe how we think about time outside of class. Tutoring has its place, but so does joining a club, learning a trade, or just spending time doing something they enjoy and feel good at.

And perhaps most importantly, we ask: What’s great about this teen?

That simple question shifts the entire conversation. Because when teens feel seen and valued, not just managed, they begin to believe in themselves again.

Supporting high school students with ADHD isn’t just about academics. It’s about protecting their self-worth. Let’s make that just as much a priority as any behavior plan or grade report.

Reference: Jellinek, M. Don’t Let ADHD Crush Children’s Self-Esteem. Dr. Jellinek is Chief of Child Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry and of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, Boston.